Turning off the Television my wife gazed at me quizzically. Following my eye line she saw the book resting on the floor, what was to her innocuous was pregnant with memory for me. Before she could speak, I did. I said ‘I found this on the train, with it we will change our collective lives.’ ‘How? Why?’ she asked. ‘It already changed mine once, I’m confident it can again.’ I replied ‘But, how can that be, I know you!’ she said become concerned. ‘I never lie to you, you know that, but in this case I was lying to myself most of all,’ I replied hastily ‘I decided that my past was so unlike everyone else’s that I simply shouldn’t speak of it. For years I created a way of life, this meant not only physical control but also mental control.’ I explained ‘Withholding this from you was only part of it.’ Continuing I said, ‘I convinced myself that my upbringing was like everyone else’s and created my own back-story. This is the story I told everyone, not only you.’ ‘You had better explain. " My husband is sitting at a table with some woman and the hostess is leading us straight to them." Maybe we should just leave and find another restaurant." No. He has seen us and it would look like I was tucking my tail between my legs and running. If the hostess seats us too close to them we will just tell her we don't like the table and ask to be seated some place else and then we will do our best to ignore them until after we eat and can leave.Shawna did not look his way as she and the man she was with walked by. Once by him his back was to her so he was at least spared having her sitting at a table where he would have to look at her. But even though he couldn't see her just knowing that she was there made him uncomfortable.He and Carol ate their meal and when they were done with main course they passed on dessert and after dinner drinks and got up and left."Well," Carol said as they walked toward the parking lot, "That certainly put a damper on the evening." Nonsense baby, just a.
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